Who Comes First? The Wife or the Mother | Sheilot

Who Comes First? The Wife or the Mother

Question

When sitting at the Shabbat meal with the mother and the wife, to whom should the Kiddush cup be given first? Similarly, when breaking the challah? And especially if the groom is making Kiddush or breaking the challah, to whom should it be given first, practically speaking, if there is no obligation to honor the mother, or should it be given to the elder or the wife?

Answer

Hello, 

Honoring parents takes precedence over honoring the wife, provided that the wife understands the matter and it does not cause a lack of peace in the home. 

In a case where it causes difficulty between the couple, the wife should be given precedence, as peace in the home takes precedence over honoring parents. 

Answered 27 October 2024 How answers are reviewed
Answered by
Answers questions at Rav Amram Fried's Beit Horaah
Smicha "Yoreh-Yoreh" (2012), Rav Amram Fried's Beit Horaah
Orach Chaim, Yoreh Deah
About the Rabbi

Source

Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 240

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