An Educational Insight from Parashat Chayei Sarah — Displaying the Scar Is Powerful.

- The son, the student standing before me — who is he?

- What do I expect of him?

- What does he truly need from me, as a parent and as an educator?

- What are our personal considerations in educating them? Do they enter our lives and sway us a little in another direction, or not?

Essential questions!!!

“I paid a price”?

A house father who lives with his family in a dormitory for struggling youth told me that he paid a heavy price for his work with the teenagers: his daughters were not accepted to the seminaries considered to be good ones. According to the administration, since the parents are involved with youth of this type, it must necessarily have affected the character of the home and the education of the daughters.

“In fact,” he added with a bitter smile, “it is exactly the opposite! Since we raise such youth and deal with their problems, my children understood the pitfalls involved, and therefore emerged far more immune to spiritual harm than others.”

A Candle for Every Child

He further told me that every Friday evening they light a candle for each one of these children. This act became deeply engraved in the hearts and souls of the family members, and thus they internalized how important every Jewish soul is to their parents (apart from the great impression it made on the souls of the boys themselves).

We learned the foundation of these matters from Avraham Avinu.

The commentators went to great lengths to explain what transpired in the mind of Ephron the Hittite, who in a single moment changed his mind and his approach regarding the sale of the Cave of Machpelah — from declaring that he would give it as a gift to demanding an enormous sum in merchantable silver shekels; such an extreme change in a very short time.

But let us consider the thinking and mindset of Avraham Avinu as a guiding line in the existence of a Jew who is subjugated to his Creator. When Sarah was taken to Pharaoh’s house, and Pharaoh gave Avraham sheep and cattle, camels and donkeys, silver and gold, Avraham accepted the gifts without objection. When Sarah was taken to Avimelech’s house as well, and what happened, happened, Avimelech said to Sarah, “הנה נתתי אלף כסף לאחיך הנה הוא לך כסות עיניים” — “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; behold, it is for you a covering of the eyes.” Here too, Avraham took the money and did not try to refuse. However, when the king of Sodom wanted to bestow something upon Avraham, saying to him, “תן לי הנפש והרכוש קח לך” — “Give me the people, and take the possessions for yourself,” here Avraham already objected firmly: “הרימותי ידי לאל עליון וכו' אם אקח מחוט ועד שרוך נעל ולא תאמר אני העשרתי את אברהם” — “I have raised my hand to G-d Most High… that I will take nothing, from a thread to a shoe-strap, so that you will not say: ‘I have made Avraham rich.’” Why? What is the meaning of the change?

Indeed, Avraham Avinu’s set of considerations operates around one principle: what stands before his eyes is the question — what is the will of Hashem? How, through my action, will I bring about a sanctification of Hashem’s Name in the world? When Pharaoh and Avimelech give — he takes, because he understands that in this way the world will learn the punishment of one who harms or torments an upright and decent person: he is harmed and must also pay, so that people may see and fear that there is judgment and there is a Judge. But from the king of Sodom he does not take under any circumstances, because if he were to take, people would think that his entire war with the kings had been for monetary gain, while in truth he fought them only in order to save Lot, and he did it for the sake of Heaven.

Therefore, he also paid Ephron 400 silver shekels gladly, without raising any question before him about his initial desire, because if Providence arranged matters such that I must acquire the land through a full monetary acquisition, then this is the very best thing for me. And so, in every matter I must see the will of Hashem. That — and nothing more!

The Jew with the Scar

This was about 25 years ago. A Jew who had immigrated from Russia and lived in Tel Aviv would sit for hours in the synagogue during the regular classes given there, with his finger inserted into a thick volume of Gemara, though it did not seem that he understood anything.

Yet it was impossible to ignore him, because on his exposed arm there was a large, deep, and definitely strange scar. In addition, there were unusual scars on his face and neck as well.

We saw him as children, but we always recoiled.

But in later years his story became known...

He lived in Russia under the cruel Communist regime. One day he found himself in an extremely difficult situation. It was at the end of the day, when he sat down to drink a glass of beer in one of the city’s taverns. In the center of the tavern sat a group of people who were among the leaders of the “Russian mafia,” whom the police had been hunting for quite some time. Following intelligence information, police forces arrived and raided the place in order to arrest the group. A brawl broke out there, involving severe violence, while that Jew found himself in the heart of the commotion, beaten and injured. He tried to resist and explain that he had no connection to the group, but to no avail. The policemen beat him viciously, using knives that cut his skin and injured his body, and thus left upon him the mark of the scars. After he was arrested and summoned for interrogation, he explained again and again that he had no connection whatsoever to the entire affair, but the argument they used repeatedly was decisive: “If you are there — you belong to them!”

“That sentence has accompanied me all my life,” he related. “Later, when I arrived in Eretz Yisrael, I understood that I did not know how to learn Torah, but I decided to attend the class and follow along in the Gemara, even though I do not understand, because I say to myself: ‘If you are here — you belong here!’

“When I come before the Heavenly Court and they demand of me why I did not know Torah, I will at least be able to wave the scars on my hand and say: Master of the Universe, if I was there — I belonged there; and I tried also to be present at the Daf Yomi classes and truly to belong there. I really do not know Torah and do not understand Torah, but I belong there!”

As educators, we sometimes say to ourselves that we do not understand what a certain student is doing here; what benefit will come from him? How is he progressing? And all sorts of other questions about his condition. But we must not forget that he is part of a whole called “the world of Torah”; he is part of the King’s legion, and if he is there — he belongs there!!!

And it is clear to anyone who reflects that over the years there have been many about whom we had such thoughts, and in the end we saw that they reached high… and far...

Rabbi Michael Zacharyahu

Spiritual director at the Torat David Yeshiva Gedolah and chairman of the Legiono Shel Melech organization