Insights in Education from Parashat Tazria — The Power of Words

In our parashah, the Torah warns against the sin of lashon hara and its consequences, and our Sages of blessed memory spoke at length about this.

The Cook’s Tear
Once the Chafetz Chaim went out, accompanied by another rabbi, on a journey for the sake of a mitzvah. On their way, they stopped at an inn in one of the villages in order
to eat. The innkeeper immediately recognized the two distinguished men, seated them at a special table,
and made sure they were served properly.
When the two finished their meal, she approached them and asked, “How did you like my food?”
“Very good; we enjoyed it very much,” the Chafetz Chaim replied with admiration.
“And what do you say?” she turned to the second rabbi.
His answer came at once: “Quite good, but it was too salty for my taste.”
As soon as the woman heard this, she immediately turned toward the kitchen. The Chafetz Chaim turned pale and became very agitated. “I cannot
believe it! All my life I have avoided speaking and hearing lashon hara; why, then, has it now happened that I heard words of lashon hara?
Had I known this in advance, I would not have set out on this journey.”
Seeing the Chafetz Chaim’s reaction, the rabbi was alarmed: “But what did I say, after all? What was so terrible about my words?
I said the food was good, and merely added that it would have been proper to use a little less salt!”
“You do not know how to appreciate properly the power of words,” the Chafetz Chaim replied in a reproving tone. “It may be that the cook is
a poor widow who needs her job. Because of your words, the proprietress will blame her for the food being salty. In order to defend
herself, the poor widow will deny her words and say that she did not put in salt, and that she even tasted the dishes before
serving them.”
“Then,” the Chafetz Chaim continued, “the proprietress will accuse her of lying and say to her: ‘Do you think
the rabbis are liars?! You are the one who lied!’ They will argue, and the proprietress will become so angry that she will dismiss
the poor cook, and she will be left without work.”
“See how many transgressions you have caused,” the Chafetz Chaim added. “You spoke lashon hara; you caused the proprietress and me to hear
lashon hara; you brought about that the proprietress will repeat words of lashon hara in front of the cook — that is already the sin of
rechilut. You caused the cook to lie; because of you, the proprietress will cause pain to a widow; and you caused a quarrel between people.”
When the Chafetz Chaim finished speaking, the rabbi said quietly, as if justifying himself: “I think there is a great exaggeration here! It is not possible
that the words I said would cause all this!”
“Let us go to the kitchen and see,” the Chafetz Chaim said to him.
When they opened the kitchen door, they saw the cook standing there, wiping tears from her eyes. The rabbi understood what he had caused;
he hurried over to the cook, apologized for the harm and pain caused to her, and pleaded with her to forgive him. Afterward, he turned to
the proprietress and implored her to forgive the cook and allow her to continue working. He even offered payment, provided
that she not dismiss the cook.
The innkeeper was a kind and generous woman: “Certainly, certainly,” she said, “her continued work with me is not in
doubt. I only wanted her to know that one must be careful. She is an excellent cook, and she will indeed remain in her position.”
Words can strengthen, encourage, support, and impel a person to act. But they can also destroy and harm, and sometimes
the damage is irreversible. Therefore, how careful we must be with our speech and control what comes out of our mouths, for a word
that has gone out cannot be taken back.

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“In Your Blood, Live”
“ואעבור עלייך ואראך מתבוססת ואומר לך בדמייך חיי ואומר לך בדמייך חיי” — “And I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, and I said to you: ‘In your blood, live’; and I said to you: ‘In your blood, live.’” The Chozeh of Lublin would
explain this verse as follows: “דמייך” — from the language of silence and stillness, as it is written in Tehillim, “דום לה' והתחולל לו” — “Be silent before Hashem and wait longingly for Him,”
meaning: to be silent and to restrain oneself. “בדמייך חיי” — through your “demamah,” your silence and stillness, one merits life.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Unlike hands, feet, and eyes, there is only one tongue. Yet although it is
alone, it stands exactly in the middle; this can be a tremendous advantage, but it can also be a great drawback. If
the tongue decides to “connect” between friends, how good that is — that is, in order to connect two separate parts, one needs a unifying adhesive.
The tongue can be the adhesive that unites individuals and makes peace between them. On the other hand, however, it can
be very destructive — it is capable of separating and “cutting” between two brothers and friends. Everything is in the hands of the tongue:
death and life, separation and connection.
Even in stressful situations, one must maintain self-control. Sometimes, in a storm of emotions, anger, or irritation, we
let slip words that we are forced to regret. Let us try, even for a moment, to think before we speak. If we have
any doubt whether it is worthwhile to say something or not, it is simply better to remain silent. A wise man once said: “I have never regretted
things I did not say! But I have regretted things I did say...”
In His Drunkenness, He Lost His World
The virtue of one who guards his mouth and tongue can be learned from the following story:
There was once a young man who drank too much on Purim. While intoxicated, in his drunken state he entered the presence of the Chafetz Chaim and asked
him to promise — no less and no more — that he would merit to sit next to him in the World to Come!!!
Those present urged the young man to leave, but to no avail. Finally, the Chafetz Chaim agreed
and said to him firmly:
“If you accept upon yourself to guard your tongue from speaking lashon hara, I promise you that you will sit next to me in the World
to Come”!!!
That young man, despite being drunk, hesitated to accept this commitment and preferred to forgo a golden opportunity
that the Chafetz Chaim had promised him...
In truth, every person can merit the World to Come, as the Gra writes in his letter:
“But the main way to merit the World to Come is by guarding one’s mouth. And this is greater than all Torah and deeds, for the mouth is the Holy
of Holies.”
And if people would free themselves from that jealousy which causes the words of lashon hara that follow in its wake,
surely healing would then come to all humanity.
We see what the power of a word is, and the power that lies with a person who refrains from saying a bad word about a Jew.
And as believing Jews, we understand that these matters apply both for good and, Heaven forbid, for the opposite; and the good measure exceeds the measure of
punishment five hundredfold. Who knows, then, what immense blessing can come to a person who speaks well, or even says
just one good word to a Jew, a youth, or a child.
As we see from the following incident:
You Are Fit to Become a Great Rosh Yeshivah
In the Chevron Yeshivah, quite a few years ago, there was an older student who had apparently grown weak in spirit. The rosh yeshivah at that
time, HaGaon Rabbi Yechezkel Sarna, asked him to come in to him, and then said to him: “Know that you are fit to become a great rosh yeshivah;
use your talents, and you will see that you will yet go far.”
In later years, that student testified that this sentence not only encouraged him, but literally built his world many times over,
and in time he indeed stood at the head of an important yeshivah.

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What is interesting, however, is that this very thing happened to HaGaon Rabbi Yechezkel Sarna himself, when he was an older student
in the Slabodka Yeshivah abroad. One of his teachers approached him to encourage him (because he had not yet established a home
like the rest of his friends) and said to him: “You will yet become a great rosh yeshivah,” and so it was.
Indeed, a person passes on to others... just as he receives...
Let us empower our students and our children with strengthening and constructive sentences, and who knows how far they will go, and they too will empower

others and build the future generation of the people of Israel.

Rabbi Michael Zecharyahu

Spiritual director at the Torat David Yeshivah Gedolah and chairman of the Legion of the King organization