Requesting Forgiveness from a Student
Question
I am a teacher in a Beit Yaakov school. At the beginning of my work, I was a teacher in an older grade, and there was a girl who disrupted the course of the lesson many times.
Today, in hindsight and after several years of experience that I have gained, I think that there were a number of times when I punished her when it was not her fault, or hurt her even though she did not really deserve it.
As a beginning teacher who was in the middle of giving a lesson at that moment and could not examine every response in depth and thoroughly investigate every bit of chatter, I saw her as a girl who was disruptive, and therefore when I heard noise near her, I suspected her. (Because it was usually her, but not always.)
I am giving details so it will be clear:
I remember one time when I sent her outside even though she did not deserve it, and another time when I did not agree to let her be dismissed (because I think I thought she was lying to me, absolutely not out of malice).
These are, in general, the incidents that I remember. They were really not humiliations or anything of that sort!!
But lately thoughts of repentance have been coming to me, and it seems to me that I need to ask her forgiveness.
But I have 2 questions:
1. Does a teacher really need to ask forgiveness from a student whom she did not hurt intentionally? (After all, a teacher, by the nature of her influential position, can mistakenly hurt someone without noticing; in any case, we are talking about a class of about 30 girls...)
2. The student has already finished school, so I have no way to meet with her. Do I need to call her and apologize? This is very embarrassing for me :( Of course I will do it if that is what is necessary, but I am emphasizing this detail, that I will not be able to do it in a way that relatively preserves my dignity.
Thank you very much for reading the question, and I would be very happy to know the answer.
Today, in hindsight and after several years of experience that I have gained, I think that there were a number of times when I punished her when it was not her fault, or hurt her even though she did not really deserve it.
As a beginning teacher who was in the middle of giving a lesson at that moment and could not examine every response in depth and thoroughly investigate every bit of chatter, I saw her as a girl who was disruptive, and therefore when I heard noise near her, I suspected her. (Because it was usually her, but not always.)
I am giving details so it will be clear:
I remember one time when I sent her outside even though she did not deserve it, and another time when I did not agree to let her be dismissed (because I think I thought she was lying to me, absolutely not out of malice).
These are, in general, the incidents that I remember. They were really not humiliations or anything of that sort!!
But lately thoughts of repentance have been coming to me, and it seems to me that I need to ask her forgiveness.
But I have 2 questions:
1. Does a teacher really need to ask forgiveness from a student whom she did not hurt intentionally? (After all, a teacher, by the nature of her influential position, can mistakenly hurt someone without noticing; in any case, we are talking about a class of about 30 girls...)
2. The student has already finished school, so I have no way to meet with her. Do I need to call her and apologize? This is very embarrassing for me :( Of course I will do it if that is what is necessary, but I am emphasizing this detail, that I will not be able to do it in a way that relatively preserves my dignity.
Thank you very much for reading the question, and I would be very happy to know the answer.
Answer
Shalom u'vrachah
If at the time you did these things with proper judgment, and not out of anger or the like, there is no need for an apology here.
Comments
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