Supporting your wife emotionally

Good evening Rabbi, My wife and I are both BTs, but lately she's been talking about being less observant, we have two kids and I am really concerned about how it might affect them. She believes it was my job to show her the beauty of Judaism, but I don't think it's fair, since she had become observant before we met and it's also a woman's responsibility to ensure that we have a kosher home. I am not sure wholly to do in this situation, if we get divorced, she might get custody of our children and they won't stay religious. I have an older child from the previous marriage who is not observant, because my ex wife abandoned religious observance and looks like it's happening to me again. Could you please advice as to what to do in this situation? Thank you very much!

Thank you for your question,

I understand your frustration, and your worry that maybe this is happening to you again. But it doesn’t have to happen again if we navigate this carefully and with understanding.

As far as I understand from your question, your wife is only “speaking” about her being less observant. Being her husband, you can help her, by not concentrating on what she says but on her underlying feeling of discontent.

I would encourage her, compliment her and make her feel good about herself, and then she will eventually have a more positive mindset.

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