Halachot for the Engagement Period

A. A bride during the engagement period has the status of an ervah, and all the laws of distancing from forbidden relationships apply; the purpose of the meetings is so that they should not come to the wedding as strangers.

B. Looking at one’s prospective bride: if he derives no pleasure from it, there is no prohibition; but if he does derive pleasure from it, he must be careful.

C. It is permitted to pass objects from hand to hand.

D. The groom and bride may serve one another food/drink.

E. The groom may give gifts to the bride [and likewise mishloach manot on Purim]. If gifts are given to the bride’s sisters, he should say that they are from his mother or from his family.

F. It is forbidden to smell the perfume she is wearing if he derives pleasure from it.

G. It is forbidden to ask, “How are you?” but it is permitted to say, “Shalom,” “Good morning,” or “What’s new?”

H. It is forbidden to speak or write words that contain love and desire. One should not speak about matters of marital guidance, nor should one compliment her on her beauty or her clothing.

I. One must be careful regarding yichud.

J. They may not sleep in the same house.

K. Meetings should take place once every two or three weeks [according to the yeshivah’s instructions]; a phone call once a week for one hour; and on Erev Shabbat, to wish “gut Shabbos.”