A Second Marriage

Are the rules of a wedding night the same if it’s a second marriage for the woman?

Shalom!

Thank you for your question!

First of all, it is important to know that a woman who has been widowed or divorced may remarry after waiting 90 days (not including the day her husband dies or the day she was divorced). The reason for the delay in re-marriage is to ensure that the woman is not pregnant from her previous husband. This is true even if she did not live with her husband in the 90 days before death or divorce – the 90 day delay always applies. The only exception is a woman who is remarrying her previous husband. They do no need to wait 90 days before remarrying. As a general rules, a pregnant or nursing woman may not marry until the baby is two years old. There are, however, a number of exceptions. As a general rule the “bedeken” ceremony, the covering of the bride with a veil is not performed at a second marriage.

The Talmud rules that while the marriage of a virgin bride is finalized under the chuppa, there is some dispute on the finalization of marriage for a widow or divorcee. Some say that the marriage is only finalized when the couple is secluded together for the first time, others say that actual marital relations finalize the marriage, and some say that seclusion for the amount of time it takes to have martial relations finalizes the marriage whether or not they actually had relations. Therefore, if such a wedding occurs on a Friday, the couple should be sure to complete the yichud, the seclusion, before Shabbat as it is forbidden to “finalize” transactions on Shabbat.

Talmud Yerushalmi Ketubot 1:1; EH 64:5,339:5; Aruch Hashulchan, EH 55:24; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 145:13,14.