Inviting Departed Relatives to a Wedding

Question

Why do some people bring wedding invitations and place them on the graves of deceased relatives?

Answer

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

Yes. There is a custom, primarily among Chassidim, to go the cemetery and leave a wedding invitation on the graves of departed parents and grandparents. This is because we are told that the souls of departed parents and grandparents attend the weddings of their children and grandchildren. Some extend this invitation to great grandparents, as well. In some circles, the invitation is just made orally without leaving a physical invitation.

The custom also derives from a Talmudic passage which says that one who does not attend a celebration that one was invited to deserves to be “excommunicated.” Leaving an invitation is said to better “force” them to attend the wedding since the souls in Heaven do not want to be subject to any excommunication.


Source

Zohar , Pinchas; Pesachim 113b; Shulchan Ha’ezer , vol. 2, p. 137


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