Who Comes First? The Wife or the Mother
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Question
When sitting at the Shabbat meal with the mother and the wife, to whom should the Kiddush cup be given first? Similarly, when breaking the challah? And especially if the groom is making Kiddush or breaking the challah, to whom should it be given first, practically speaking, if there is no obligation to honor the mother, or should it be given to the elder or the wife?
Answer
Hello,
Honoring parents takes precedence over honoring the wife, provided that the wife understands the matter and it does not cause a lack of peace in the home.
In a case where it causes difficulty between the couple, the wife should be given precedence, as peace in the home takes precedence over honoring parents.
Source
Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 240