Wedding

Hi, I am in a relationship with a divorced man with two children. Recently, I met his children and I am waiting for him to propose to me. He is a bit anxious about the matter because he is afraid of getting divorced again, having gone through a difficult divorce. It took him time to open up to me, but it happened. He also wants more children, but the topic of marriage in the rabbinate stresses him out, only because there could be a divorce. What advice can you give me to calm him down? Of course, it is also important for me to be in the covenant of marriage and for my children to have parents married according to the law of Moses and Israel, which is something I have always dreamed of and wanted. I am also at an advanced age, over 35, and would appreciate rabbinic guidance.

Hello, 

Without knowing all the details, I am trying to understand what is stressing him about marriage through the rabbinate.  He wants to get married and is only afraid of divorce, so there must be something specific bothering him. 

You mentioned he went through a difficult divorce, which usually involves financial extortion. Therefore, I suggest you draft a prenuptial agreement with a lawyer in advance, which will save you from this difficulty in case you wish to divorce. 

Emphasize to him that this suggestion is not a preparation for divorce, but merely a relief and reduction of stress so that he can proceed with the marriage.