Parashat Vayakhel-Pekudei
Question
A Gutten Erev Shabbos.
In this week's parshah, it is written (35:22):
“The men came with the women; all those with generous hearts brought bracelets, nose-rings, rings, and ornaments…”
The question is: How did the treasurers accept donations from the women? It says in the Gemara, Bava Kama 119:
“Charity collectors may only accept small donations from women, but not large ones.”
This ruling is also brought in Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh Deah 248:4, that with a small donation a husband is not particular, but with a large gift, we are concerned that it may have been taken without permission.
Yet here the women donated large amounts of gold and silver for the Mishkan.
Answer
The Sifsei Chachamim writes that this difficulty bothered Rashi, and therefore Rashi explains the verse:
“The men came with the women” - meaning together with the women.
This is a quote of the Sifsei Chachamim:
Since we do not accept large charity donations from women, the verse teaches that their husbands came together with their wives to donate their jewelry for the Mishkan.
We find a similar approach by the Sforno:
The women who volunteered came together with their husbands, who agreed to the donation, so that the treasurers would accept it from them, since we do not accept more than a small donation from women (Bava Kama 118b).
The Panim Yafos adds that a husband also cannot sell his wife’s jewelry without her consent. Therefore, both the husband and the wife needed to be present when giving the donation.
This is a quote from the Panim Yafos:
A man cannot sell his wife’s jewelry; therefore, both had to come together, as stated in Even HaEzer simanim 85 and 88, and that is why both were required to bring it.
However, the Ramban and Rabbeinu Bachya both explain that the women themselves brought the donations before their husbands, because jewelry generally belonged to the women and was therefore more accessible to them, and so it was easier for them to bring the gold immediately.
The Ramban writes:
Since jewelry donations are more commonly found with women, and they all possessed them, they immediately removed their rings and nose-rings and came first.
According to their approach, the original question needs to be explained.
We could explain the Ramban and Rabbeinu Bachya according to the Noda B’Yehuda (Yoreh Deah 248). He writes an important insight regarding the reason for this halacha that we do not accept large donations from women: the reason a woman cannot give a large donation is not that we suspect she stole the gold from her husband, since we rely on the principle that a person does not sin for someone else when he gains no benefit from it.
Rather, the concern is that a woman might permit it to herself, since she manages the household finances, and therefore assume she is allowed to take money without explicit permission.
Therefore, we do not suspect her of lying, so if she says that she asked her husband and received permission to donate the jewelry for the Mishkan, we believe her.
According to this, we can explain that the women themselves brought the donations and stated that they had received permission from their husbands.
The Pischei Teshuvah (Ad Loc) cites the Noda B’Yehuda that we mentioned, and writes: See the Sforno on Parashas Vayakhel on the verse “The men came with the women.”
It seems that the Pischei Teshuvah understands that the Sforno (and also Rashi the way the Sifsei Chachamim explained) do not agree with the explanation of the Noda B’Yehuda. Rather, they are concerned that perhaps the women took the money without permission and might lie saying that they had received permission. Therefore, they required the husbands themselves to come and be present when their wives donated their jewelry to the Mishkan, in order to state their consent personally.
This is a quote of the Pischei Teshuvah:
Regarding donations from women, see the responsa of the Noda B’Yehuda (Tinyana Yoreh Deah 72), who writes that if she says she gave it with her husband’s permission she is believed. See also Responsa Besamim Rosh 166, and the commentary of the Sforno on the verse “The men came with the women.”
To Summarize:
We find two explanations for why we do not accept large donations from married women. One explanation is that we are concerned they might claim that they received permission, when in fact they may not have (Sforno and Rashi). The other explanation is not that we suspect them of lying, chas veshalom, but rather that they may permit it to themselves, since they manage the household finances, they might assume they are allowed to give the money away and therefore may not actually ask permission (Ramban and Rabbeinu Bachya).
Le’Halacha – In Practice:
Can one accept a donation from a married woman without knowing that her husband agreed?
HaGaon Rav Amrom Fried shlit”a writes that one may accept from women only a small amount without the husband’s knowledge.
What is considered a small amount? It depends on the husband’s financial situation, on how wealthy he is.
If a woman supports her household, there are grounds to be more lenient. However, ideally (Le’chatchillah), even in that case the husband’s consent should be obtained.
If she says that her husband agrees, one may rely on what she said.
However, when it comes to giving jewelry, the consent of both the husband and the woman is required.
On behalf of the entire Sheilot team, we wish you a Shabbos Sholem uMevoroch.
