Religious at Heart
Question
I have always been religious at heart, and I have felt a strong connection to the Creator even though I am secular. I live with my partner, and recently everything in my life has fallen apart. I feel like I am losing my way and direction, and I need to start over from scratch. Recently, my partner also left me. How can I renew my connection with the Creator?
Answer
Greetings and blessings.
In the beginning of the book "The Kuzari", it is described how the King of the Khazars tried to serve the Creator, but he worshiped idols out of a mistaken belief that they were the Creator. The Creator saw his suffering and sent him an angel in his dream, telling him that his intentions were good, but his actions were not. The more he tried to serve the idols, the more the angel returned to him, leading the King to rethink his path. He embarked on an intellectual journey to explore the truth, and in the end, he discovered the truth about Judaism. He and his people converted and joined the Jewish people.
The difficulty you are describing is what is called “a descent for the purpose of an ascent”. The crisis and difficulty are a call from Heavens that your intentions are good, but your actions are not. I suggest that you turn to the "Arachim" organization to learn more deeply about what Judaism truly is, and only then will you be able to rethink your path.
Contact information:
Phone: 03-5793035
Email: contacts@arachim.org
Source
(Kuzari, Article 1, Letter A)