Encouragement for keeping Shabbos

Dear Rabbis! I have a question. I recently started keeping the commandments of the Torah. My brother is circumcising his son this Shabbat in Holon, but most our relatives live in Dimonah. Because of this he’s organizing a bus to bring the family to the Bris on Shabbos. What am I supposed to tell him? I feel like I’m going to blow up!

Dear …!

It was very painful for me to read, how in order to fulfill such an important and beloved commandment, you relatives are willing to trample upon the that which is most dear to us — keeping Shabbos. I wanted to express my deepest respect to you for radically changing your lifestyle and for your unconcealed feelings of pain because of your family’s desecration of the Torah law. This pain is especially evident now, that your brother is planning to desecrate the Shabbos on such an important day, G-d forbid. May you be strong in your convictions! You should pray that Hashem open their eyes and pour upon them spirit of holiness from Above. This is more important than all the efforts to influence them.

As far as this specific case is concerned, our teacher Rabbi Shmuel Wosner took it upon himself to rule unequivocally that one should convince a non-observant relative to postpone the Bris. And this is better than performing it on time (on the eighth day after the birth), if some of the guests will desecrate Shabbos by driving to the Bris.

But even if you won’t be able to convince your brother to postpone, but you will persuade some of the relatives to come to Holon ahead of time, before Shabbos (on Friday afternoon), or to stay in Dimonah, your reward for this will be boundless!

However, despite the pain that you experience because of this situation, you have to make sure to be very calm and pleasant, so that your words will penetrate the hearts of your interlocutors. Try to influence your relatives little by little, until they will see the light of the Torah. There is an allegory that illustrates very lucidly how one should act in such a situation. A father discovers that his toddler is playing on a roof of a tall building right near the edge, totally oblivious to the imminent danger looming below. The father realizes that if he’ll scream and run towards the child while trying to grab him, the toddler is likely to get scared, move away and fall into the chasm. Therefore, the father has to take total control of his fear and of his emotions, and call the child in a calm and pleasant voice, to show him his favorite toy, so that he’ll turn around and move away from danger, and towards his loving father. And this is exactly the way you should act with your brother.

Good luck to you!

Shevet Ha-Levi (vol. IV, chapter 135)