My custom of prayer is different from that of my class

I pray according to one custom at school, and according to another custom at home. My teacher claims that the whole class has to pray together and according to the same custom. She doesn’t allow us to pray according to another custom. What I am supposed to do?

Dear …, peace and blessings unto you!

Your keeping your ancestor’s traditions, not changing anything that you inherited from your grandparents and their grandparents before them, fulfilling everything that your parents taught you with exactitude — all this is indeed very important.

On the other hand, the Torah commands us “do not divide into groups” (Deuteronomy 14:1). The sages instruct us: “someone who moves from one place to another shall not do differently than what is customary in that place, so as not to create conflict”. One has to find a way to fulfill both these principles, even though they contradict each other. But the halacha is that in a classroom one has to pray according to the text that was chosen by the school administration.

There are places where for whatever reasons everyone is free to pray according to his own custom. But, generally speaking, according to halacha, it’s better to establish one single custom for everyone, if this is possible.

On the other hand, your parents surely chose the best place for you to grow and to flourish, according to the conditions that exist, even if this requires that you change some of your customs and some of your traditional practices.

May all your prayers be willingly accepted.

Tractate Yevamos 13b; tractate Psachim 51b