Embarrassed to return stolen money

In the past I stole a large sum of money. I know whom I stole it from. I wasn’t religious back then. But now, thank G-d, I returned to Hashem. However, it’s terribly embarrassing for me to give back the money. Is there a way I could donate it to charity or to distribute it among the poor?

Thank G-d you were able to return to Hashem and fill your life with Torah and Mitzvot. I’m truly happy that you are really trying to change the direction of your life and come closer to the Creator of the Universe. Of course, changing one’s lifestyle is extremely difficult. The fact that you managed to do that tells me that you have extraordinary inner strength. The greater the challenge, the greater the reward for overcoming it. May Hashem grant you strength!

Now, concerning your question: if you know from whom you took the money, you have to give it back to him and to no one else. However, you can do that anonymously. For example, you can hand him the money through a third party, or send it in the mail, or, if this is a close friend of yours, maybe you can make up a reason to give it to him as a “gift”. Or you could come up with some other scheme to make sure the recipient won’t know who sent him the money.

Together with the money you could send a letter, in which you’d apologize for what you have done. You can emphasize how sorry you are, and how difficult it is for you to be in this situation. Of course, you can print the letter, so the recipient won’t know who wrote it. In any case, the main thing is that the money return to its lawful owner.

But if for some reason it’s impossible to return the money without the owner’s knowing who stole it, the main thing is to return it, even without asking for forgiveness. You can also give the money to its owner without telling him that it’s been stolen.

Indeed, there is a law whereby one could give stolen money to charity, but it only applies in a case when the thief doesn’t know whose money he stole. Only in this case can the money be used for pubic works. If this is done, one should donate the money where the victim could conceivably benefit from it. For example, if the money was stolen in a certain neighborhood, then it should used for something that will benefit the residents of that neighborhood.

By the way, one of the most amazing rabbis that I know is Rav Shmuel Toledano, the Rabbi of the Rishon LeZion neighborhood. If you have any problems, you should get in touch with him. He’ll be able to support you and to guide you. You can turn to him with any problems or questions, be they connected to this particular problem or not. Of course, you can always turn to us again with any further questions. We are here to help with everything you might need.

Good luck in all your endeavors!