Dates when physical intimacy is forbidden

Dear Rabbi! Are there any other days of the year when it’s forbidden to have physical intimacy with one’s wife other than Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur? Thank you

The way you asked the question is imprecise, because you can’t equate the prohibition of intimate relationships of Rosh Hashanah with that of Yom Kippur. Let me explain.

By the Torah law, physical intimacy is forbidden only on Yom Kippur. This is what the Torah means when it says (Leviticus 16:31, 23:27, 23:32; Numbers 29:7) “you shall afflict yourselves”. After the destruction of the Temple, the sages added the prohibition of intimacy on the Ninth of Av. Now the obligation to afflict oneself exists on that day as well.

There are other dates of which the authorities wrote that it’s proper to abstain from the commandment of onah (physical intimacy). Some authorities write that it’s fitting to abstain on Rosh Hashanah, when this is not the night when the wife immersed herself in the mikveh. (But if she did immerse that night, there is a commandment to be intimate with her, and this commandment applies on Rosh Hashanah as well.) Authorities also wrote that it’s fitting to abstain on the first night of Passover (the seder night), on the night of Shavuot, and on the night of Shemini Atzereth. All this is true only on the condition that this is not the night of her immersion in the mikveh.

It's important to note that all these additional dates of abstinence (other than Yom Kippur and the Ninth of Av) apply only to those who fear G-d, and their abstinence will not cause them to sin. But someone who hasn’t reached this spiritual level, and is likely to stumble into sin, certainly should not abide by these stringencies.

Leviticus 16:31; Tractates Yumah 73b and Taanit 30b; Shulchan Oruch, section Orach Chaim, ch. 554, § 1 and ch. 611§1; Mishnah Berurah, ch. 340, subsection 7