Love and Brain Damage

Hello Rabbi, I am writing to you today to ask a difficult hypothetical but real question. Suppose a loved partner or spouse receives brain damage that entails permanent memory loss and loss of communication/cognitive awareness. Would it be acceptable in this given circumstance to leave them in time, assuming they were still cared for? Does marriage make the difference? Fortunately, I am not burdened by this situation, but I am curious whether it is acceptable in God’s view.

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

Your question is a painful one indeed. It has come up a few times in Israel in the last decade in situations where a soldier was injured in battle and is unable to continue in his role as a husband. It could be due to brain injury, coma, or something else of that nature.

In Israel, the courts are generally sympathetic to a spouse who wants a divorce due to the other spouse becoming severely incapacitated, especially in the event that marital relations are no longer possible. Indeed, the classical sources do list the inability of either spouse to have marital relations as a grounds for divorce regardless of the reason why. Ultimately however, both parties must agree to the divorce as, barring extreme circumstances, one spouse cannot divorce the other against their will.

While I am in no way advocating a specific course of action, the point here is that halacha will tolerate divorce of a spouse when marital relations are no longer possible even though some would suggest that the ethics of morals of doing so are questionable.

Note: If a brain injury leaves a man unable to communicate or convey his willingness to proceed with the divorce the a divorce is simply not be possible. This is a topic beyond the scope of this answer.

May the Jewish people never have to deal with these issues.

Yevamot 65a; Ketubot 47b; Rambam, Hilchot Ishut 12:2, 25:11-12, EH 119:6, 154:1, 6-7