Should I Avoid Negative People? How?

TDLR; Idolatrous relative wants relationship, I don't. What do I say? Hi Rabbi, I have been "no contact" with a relative of mine as they openly and repeatedly engage in Idolatry (Pagan rituals, beliefs). They are educated and aware that they are involved with Idolatry. I have been trying very hard to have a relationship with this person, but the last time I saw them they gave my child non-kosher food sneakily and without my permission. I have not spoken to them since. They reached out to me asking if I still want a relationship with them. Honestly, I do not. How should I go about communicating this to them? Should I tell them why, or simply say that I don't think it's a good idea for my family to be in contact with them? I appreciate any advice you can offer. Thank you.

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

I am going to assume that you thought about the possibility of YOU influencing THEM. Before breaking off contact with someone we want to consider whether there are any opportunities for positive influence in the relationship. Is there potential for growth, mutual support, or positive change if certain boundaries are established? My guess is that you thought about all this and concluded that it is still better to keep away.

Therefore, if you don’t want a relationship with such people, if you feel that they will be a negative influence in your life in general, and your Jewish practice in particular, then you should indeed keep away from them.

Telling someone not to contact you can be a delicate situation, but it's important to communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully. Allow me to share some advice.

Choose the Right Time and Method to Tell Them: Pick a time when you can have a private conversation without interruptions. If you're uncomfortable speaking to them in person, consider sending a message or email. Choose a method that you feel most comfortable with.

Be Clear and Direct: Start the conversation by clearly stating your boundaries. You can say something like, "I need to talk to you about something important. I want to let you know that I need some space right now, and I'd appreciate it if you could respect my decision not to be contacted for a while."

Explain Your Reasons (If Necessary): Depending on your relationship with the person, you may feel the need to explain why you're setting this boundary. Keep your explanation brief and focus on how their behavior is affecting you. Let the person know what you expect from them moving forward. You can say something like, "I would appreciate it if you could refrain from contacting me for the time being. I'll reach out to you when I'm ready to reconnect."

Be Firm but Polite: It's important to assert your boundaries firmly, but try to do so in a respectful and non-confrontational manner. Avoid using accusatory language or placing blame.

Remember that setting boundaries is an important aspect of self-care, and its okay to prioritize your own well-being. Be confident in your decision and trust that you're doing what's best for yourself.