Questions for Parents of Challenging Teens
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Question
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Answer
Answers from our teacher, the Gaon, Rabbi Avraham Fried, shlita:
Questions for Challenging Teens
1. Suggest listening to lectures or speaking with those involved in the matter, but do not react harshly.
2. You can ask and tell him that you really want him to behave this way at home, but do not fight over it.
3. You can try to persuade him, but do not fight over it, and the main thing is to try to stay in contact with professionals in the field.
4. Ask him to at least observe in front of the family, but as mentioned, do not argue with him about it.
5. Things that can really harm other children, and there is no way to solve it, you must insist on it. But things that do not harm other children, sometimes you can compromise on it.
6. The root of the problem needs to be addressed, it does not help to throw him out as he will buy new, openly or secretly, so professional treatment of the root of the problem is needed.
7. Walk with the child on the street even if it causes embarrassment, and it will pass.
8. You need to tell him that they will be very happy if he stays at home, and it will be very difficult for them without him, if not preventing him from choosing where to be, but the parents really want him to be at home, it will be very difficult for them without him, and convey the message that they always want to be close to him.
9. Do not react, the main thing is to tell him that you love him.
10. Do not use harsh punishments.
11. In each case, a wise person should be consulted.
12. Lots of warmth and love.
13. No and no.
14. Explain to them that he is suffering greatly, it is difficult for him, and with God's help, he will return to repentance and come out of his mental state.
15. A professional should be involved.
16. There are wonderful groups.
17. Look at the divine part within him, at the soul, not at the actions.
18. Do not listen to anything.
19. No.
20. God gives this to a person who can withstand it with courage, it is not the parent's fault, but a test to see how they love God even in such a situation and care for the children even when it is difficult for them.
21. It is not your fault at all, and you should not feel bad about it, you only need to give him lots of warmth and love if you have not given him until now, and if you have, then continue to give.
22. It will push him further away.
23. Do not talk to him about it.
24. Know that he does believe but does not admit it, continue to give him lots of warmth and love, and everything will work out with God's help.
25. Be flexible with him.
26. Make them pity him.
27. Yes.
28. Try to find good things in him.
29. Yes.
30. Study matters of faith and trust in God, such as "Duties of the Heart," the gate of trust.
31. Through lots of warmth and love and personal example, he will decide on his own and make good and joyful decisions in the future.