Intimacy with non-Jewish girl
Question
Rabi I am 33 year old single men. I went to Colombia for a trip and I had sex with a non Jewish girl without protection cause I never had sex in my life and i wanted to try I felt great pleasure but with an horrible feeling at the end cause I sin very badly. I am open to met some Jewish girls but at the moment I never met the right one so that’s why I’m very sad. I know that the greatest teshuva for my sexual sins will be getting married soon but I don’t know when will be my perfect time, Could you recommend me something to pray or do so I will not permit to happening this things again in my life?
Answer
Shalom!
Thank you for your question.
It is very impressive that you wish to repent and correct your mistakes. We respect this very much.
Ha'gaon Harav Fried shelitah says that the way you can do true Repentance is by giving a coin to charity every day (on Shabbos, then give it after Shabbos) for the rest of your life and increase your Torah study.
In Judaism, there is no such thing as G-d being angry forever. G-d does not want to punish you at all. G-d wants just wants a relationship with you…and it appears you are making these efforts!
We believe that all mankind who has sinned can be cleansed of their sin with prayer and “Teshuva”, meaning, repentance. Teshuva out of fear or illness, whether physical or spiritual, or for any other reason for that matter is still considered to be Teshuva.
We see this, in fact, in the very first chapters of the Torah, where it says that G-d said to Cain: "Why are you upset, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do good [i.e. repent and change your ways], it will be goo for you [that is, you will be forgiven]. But if you don’t do good, sin rests at the door..but you can overcome it!" (Genesis 4:6-7).
Anyone who confesses and regrets their sins and commits not to do such things again will be forgiven for all the wrong they have done. Our G-d is a loving and merciful G-d who wants a relationship with all of us.
Pray to G-d, confess to him the mistakes you made and resolve not to do such things again, and together with what Rav Fried Shelita suggested you will be starting off fresh with G-d.
Speak to your local rabbi about advice on meeting Jewish girls in your area.
Best of luck!