Grievances

We have been waiting for children for several years. I thought about some points that I might need to correct. A. A teacher in the seminary, whom the whole group treated with disrespect, laughed in front of her. Once she fell, and the whole class burst into laughter. I didn't do anything against her personally, but I was part of everyone. She has already passed away. Do I need to find her grave and ask for forgiveness in front of ten people? B. Our match was made by my husband's sister. His parents, after investigating the matter and the common practices, did not pay her the matchmaking fee. My parents, on the bride's side, paid as customary. Is there a point in paying the missing part beyond the letter of the law? C. A guy I met during the matchmaking period, we met 3 times, a fourth meeting was scheduled, the parents met, and then we canceled the match. The matchmaker insisted on knowing why, and my father told him (it might have reached the guy's parents). Should I be concerned about a grievance from the guy (I know he is married now)? Thank you!!

Hello,

A. If it was not personal, there is no need to worry. In general, someone who behaved disrespectfully towards another, and it was intentional and with complete disgrace, should ask for forgiveness at their grave in front of ten people.

B. If they asked a rabbi regarding the matchmaking fee and the rabbi ruled that they are not obligated, then they are not obligated by law, but if he was upset about it, it is advisable to compensate.

C. There is no need to worry.

Pray during these days, and may God help that there will be good news soon.