Reciting 'Eshet Chayil' on Shabbat

Shalom and blessings! Thank God, I am in the period between engagement and marriage and I wanted to ask two questions: 1. When singing 'Eshet Chayil', is it said to the man to tell him that his wife is a woman of valor, etc.? And if so, what does it mean 'a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised' and 'beauty is vain'? Does it mean to explain to the man to encourage her more to be God-fearing, or is it meant to tell the woman herself not to focus on beauty but on fear of Heaven? And if so, how does this fit with the fact that a woman always loves beauty? 2. Is it permissible to tell a woman beautiful things I learned in the Gemara or various ideas from the Torah, and if so, why is there no problem that she might misunderstand, etc. Thank you very much for everything.

Shalom and blessings!

1. The primary recitation of 'Eshet Chayil' is directed towards the holy Shechinah. Therefore, it is customary to say it both for married and unmarried/divorced/widowed men. However, one cannot ignore the fact that some see it also as praise for the woman in the house.

The encouragement is for the woman not to focus on charm and beauty, but on the fear of the Lord. Of course, King Solomon did not intend to encourage the woman to ignore investment in charm and beauty, which have a true and important place in the relationship of a woman with her husband. As stated in the Gemara (Bava Batra 22a): Ezra instituted for Israel that peddlers should circulate in the towns so that adornments would be available to the daughters of Israel. That is, among the ten foundational decrees that Joshua instituted when Israel entered the land of Israel, was that jewelry [perfume and cosmetics] would be sold regularly to the daughters of Israel.

This also does not ignore the woman's own need to beautify herself, which is also mentioned in the words of the Sages (Moed Katan 9b). I quote them here with an integrated explanation: Our Rabbis taught: These are the adornments of women: she paints her eyes blue to beautify them, combs her hair, and applies a substance called serek to her face to make it red, and this is an adornment for her. Some say she applies serek [or a knife] to the lower part of her face to remove hair there. The wife of Rav Chisda adorned herself during the intermediate days of the festival in front of her daughter-in-law. Rav Huna bar Hinana sat before Rav Chisda and said: It is only permitted for a young woman to adorn herself during the festival, as she has joy in adornment, since it is her way, and it is permitted during the festival. But for an old woman, it is not permitted! And he challenged Rav Chisda for allowing his wife to adorn herself even though she already had a married son, and she is considered old, and it is forbidden for her to adorn herself. Rav Chisda said to him: By God! Even your mother, even the mother of your mother, even an old woman standing, as it were, on her grave, may adorn herself during the festival, because they need it.

2. It is permissible to tell a woman words of Torah, and it has been customary throughout the generations to say 'vorts' on the weekly portion and the like. But not to teach on a regular and systematic basis. In such a manner, there is no concern for drawing practical conclusions.