Concerns of Deception, Spiritual Abuse, and Community Trust
Question
Subject: Concerns of Deception, Spiritual Abuse, and Community Trust I write with a heavy heart to seek ethical guidance on the integrity of leadership and the spiritual wellbeing of a community. The wife of our current rabbi is a convert to Judaism but is presenting herself as someone born Jewish. Her husband, the rabbi, is fully aware of this and has actively supported this concealment. This constitutes a deliberate misrepresentation. In addition, I am deeply concerned about a broader pattern of spiritual abuse and financial manipulation. The rebbetzin regularly solicits donations from community members, using guilt, manipulation, and even alienation. She often creates an environment of shifting blame, withholding, and need for control. Several members have felt spiritually or emotionally coerced into giving money, as well as time, energy, or personal information that oversteps and violates boundaries. There is often a tendency to question or slander others’ character, making false accusations or assumptions. These patterns raise significant questions about integrity, exploitation, and the risk of chillul Hashem. Sincerely, A Concerned Member of the Community
Answer
Shalom!
Thank you for your question.
It is not possible to properly guide you in this situation. It would require a hearing in a Beit Din or the like, with all parties present.
If you feel that the rabbi/rebbetzin/congregation is morally and ethically questionable then we recommend you leave the congregation and find somewhere else to pray.