Guidelines for Kiddush and Eating on Friday Night after a Fast

Hi Rabbi, This year, Motzei Taanit (Asarah be'tevet) is actually Friday night Kiddush, and I can’t think of breaking my fast on gefilte fish or chicken soup. I would like to have my cup of coffee and relax a little before we have the Shabbos meal. Would that be possible?

Thank you for your question.

Yes, this Asarah B’Tevet is very rare, since generally fasts don’t fall on a Friday, except for the fast of Asarah B’Tevet, which sometimes falls on a Friday like this year. So, as you wrote, we do need some guidance on how to best have a cup of coffee and cake within the framework of halacha.

The best option would be to first make Kiddush and then eat a kezayit of bread (the amount of a kezayit is the size of a small matchbox). Afterward, you can have a cup of coffee. If it is a milky coffee, then before eating meaty foods, one needs to first eat and drink parve foods to clean out the mouth. (There are those, based on the teachings of the Arizal, who avoid eating milky and meaty foods in the same meal. However, lehalacha , this is permitted, although many have the custom to wait half an hour before eating meaty foods.)

It is important to note: In order that there should not be a hefsek between Kiddush and the Hamotzi , one should eat the kezayit of bread immediately after Kiddush and only then have the coffee and cake. Not only is this to avoid a hefsek , but it is also always commendable to eat a full kezayit immediately after reciting the blessing of Hamotzi without any interruption of speaking.

One should also, during the actual meal, make sure to eat a kebeitza of bread. This does not have to be eaten in one go ( kedei achilat pras ). This is brought in the Shulchan Aruch, Siman 291, and in the Biur Halacha, Siman 263, Se'if 2.

Some people ask why they can’t have coffee and cake immediately after Kiddush and then wash for Hamotzi ?

The reason is that Kiddush must serve as an introduction to a meal; this concept is referred to in the world of halacha as Kiddush b’makom seudah . Many Rishonim hold that a seudah is only considered valid when one washes to eat bread, and eating cake is not considered a seudah . The Biur Halacha brings this opinion as follows:

ביאור הלכה סימן רעג סעיף ה

ובספר מעשה רב כתב שהגר"א אף בקידוש היום לא היה מקדש אלא במקום סעודה גמורה ולא מיני תרגימא או יין:

Biur Halacha, Siman 273, Se'if 5
In the Sefer Ma'aseh Rav, it is written that the Vilna Gaon (Gra) would not recite Kiddush during the day except in a place where a full meal (seudah gemurah) was being eaten, and not with minei targima (light snacks) or wine.

Hagaon Harav Fried shelita writes ( Azamrah Lishmecha , issue 272) that even though there are those who are lenient on Shabbos morning to have Kiddush and then, instead of washing straight away, they eat cake for Kiddush, this is because Kiddush on Shabbos morning is a rabbinical Mitsvah. However, the Kiddush on Friday night is a biblical mitzvah, and therefore one should not be lenient. One should wash for bread immediately after Kiddush, have a kezayit of bread, and then enjoy cake and coffee as explained above.

A woman waiting for her husband to come home:

If it is difficult for a woman to wait for her husband until he comes home from shul, she may do as follows:

a. Make Kiddush herself and then make Hamotzi (on lechem Mishnah ), and eat a kezayit of bread as explained earlier.
b. If it is difficult for her to eat a kezayit of bread, she should have a kezayit of cake ( mezonot cake). She does not have to recite “Al Hamichya” afterwards; rather, she should have in mind during bentching Hazon that it also covers the cake she ate.
c. If even eating a kezayit of cake is difficult, she should drink a revi’it of grape juice, in addition to the amount ( me’lo lugmav ) that she drank during Kiddush.

May we merit to see the speedy arrival of Mashiach, and instead of fasting, we will celebrate the Geula .

1. Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim, Siman 273
2. Biur Halacha, Siman 273:5
3. Azamrah Lishmecha, Issue 272
4. Mishnah Berurah, Siman 273