Honoring Parents During Their Conflicts

Hi, I'm 23 years old and live with my parents in Jaffa. My parents usually get along like good friends, but sometimes they argue, and then my mom shares her feelings with me and speaks badly about my dad, which is very hurtful for me to hear. When I ask her to stop speaking like that she doesnt listen and just contiues and later she apologizes. In short, I really suffer from hearing this, it's unhealthy, and I don't think it's right. Besides this issue, they are really amazing parents.How can I deal with this situation? What should I do and how can I make it stop? I'm really trying hard to improve the way I honor my parents....

Shalom,

Fortunate are you for making the effort to fulfill this important mitzvah properly. The Torah promises a great reward for one who does this Mitsvah as it says: “...so that you will merit to live a long life.”

You are allowed to ask your mother not to involve you in any arguments. If she doesn’t listen to your request, you may walk away or cover your ears during those conversations, so that even in the heat of the moment, she will understand that you’re not willing to listen.

Usually, it’s hard for a person to take things in when one is in an emotional turmoil, so it would be advisable to speak to her about it when things are calm and explain to her how much it affects you. That way it will sink in and be more effective.

Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah, Siman 240