My Husband's Death

I'm sitting shiva. I have a question. My husband had a living will. His directives were not to do CPR, not to be intubated, and not to be on life support. When the ambulance took him he asked them to do whatever they could to save his life. In the emergency room he had a cardiac arrest and they did CPR. They had to put in a breathing tube. And the doctor came out and told us that he is on 100% life support. I talked to his sisters and brother before I gave the doctor the living will. Which were his instructions to me. But I can't help feeling that I killed him. When he was disconnected he was gone in less than 2 minutes. How do I stop this feeling that it's my fault he's gone? Please help me

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

I understand your regret that you gave them your husbands living will which was halachically forbidden to do even if that was his wish, In Judaism, there is always a way to do Teshuva (repentance) and of course, the first step is recognizing the transgression. After the shivah Try to help organizations that specialize in giving life and extending people's lives for example the organization called Efrat  Efrat (cribefrat.org)  who help save unborn babies' lives.  This will be a way for you to do repentance and a great merit.

May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.