The Mitzvah of Onah When a Parent is Dying
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Question
A person whose relative is dying, is it permissible to fulfill the mitzvah of onah?
Answer
If one's father, mother, or father-in-law is dying, it is forbidden to engage in the mitzvah of onah. With other relatives, it is permitted.
Source
Sefer Chassidim, Siman 948. A person whose father or mother is ill, or whose father-in-law is ill and dying, should not say: "When he dies, it will be forbidden to engage in marital relations, so I will hurry and do so before he dies." It is not appropriate to engage in marital relations while one's father is dying. This seems to be due to the respect for one's father and mother, and one's father-in-law. Therefore, it is specifically forbidden with these relatives, and not with others.
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