How to Conduct the Meal of Consolation
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Question
Should the comforters and other relatives eat the meal of consolation together with the mourners or not?
Answer
All family members and those accompanying should eat with the mourners. However, not too many people should eat together to avoid it becoming a social gathering.
Source
The Tur in Yoreh De'ah, laws of mourning, Siman 378, writes: "The Ramban writes that when comforting the mourner, all family members and those who console him and engage with him in eulogy eat and drink with him," and the Gaon writes similarly in S"K 14.
In the Shulchan Aruch, Siman 378, paragraph 10, it is written that not everyone should eat together, but rather they should divide into several places.