Mentioning the Deceased to His Son After 12 Months

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Question

Is there a prohibition against mentioning a person's father and mother after 12 months?

Answer

It seems that the prohibition against mentioning the name of his father and mother is only when comforting the mourner, but not when speaking with him.


Source

In the Gemara Moed Katan 21a: One who finds his friend in mourning within twelve months speaks words of comfort to him and does not inquire about his welfare. After twelve months, he inquires about his welfare and does not speak words of comfort, but speaks indirectly. Rabbi Meir said: One who finds his friend in mourning after twelve months and speaks words of comfort is like a person whose leg was broken and healed. A doctor found him and said: "Come to me, I will break it and heal it, so you will know that my medicines are good." - This does not contradict: this is regarding his father and mother, this is regarding other relatives.

This is also ruled in the Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 385, Paragraph 2: "One who finds his friend in mourning within 30 days speaks words of comfort to him and does not inquire about his welfare. After 30 days, he inquires about his welfare and does not speak words of comfort as usual, but indirectly, not mentioning the name of the deceased, but says to him: 'Be comforted.' etc. Regarding his father and mother, he speaks words of comfort all 12 months; after 12 months, he speaks indirectly."


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