Concealing from the Mourner that a Relative has Died to Encourage a Haircut
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Question
Is it permissible to conceal from a person that his father has died and urge him to get a haircut so that at the beginning of mourning he will not have excessive hair?
Answer
It is permissible, as the laws of mourning do not commence when he is unaware that his relative has passed away.
Source
Shulchan Aruch, Siman 282, Seif 12: "One whose relative has died and he is unaware, it is not obligatory to inform him; even for his father or mother; and regarding this it is said: 'He who spreads rumors is a fool' (Proverbs 10:18). It is permissible to invite him to engagements, weddings, and any celebration, as he is unaware. However, if he inquires about him, one should not lie and say: 'He is alive,' as it is said: 'Distance yourself from falsehood' (Exodus 23:7). The Rema writes: 'Nevertheless, for sons, it is customary to inform them so they may recite Kaddish; but for daughters, there is no custom to inform them.'