Laws of Mourning When a Father Sits Shiva for His Brother
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Question
Should someone whose father is sitting shiva for his brother observe some mourning customs until Shabbat, and for which relatives is the rule that whoever mourns for the deceased mourns with him applicable?
Answer
The Sephardic custom is not to observe mourning customs at all when a close relative of a relative dies, whereas the Ashkenazi custom is to observe some mourning laws.
Our teacher, the rabbi, ruled that only when one's father or mother sits shiva for their father or mother, and not for other relatives, and similarly when one's wife sits shiva for her father or mother. But for other relatives, no mourning customs are observed at all.
Source
In the Gemara Moed Katan 20a, the opinion of the sages is explained that whoever mourns for the deceased mourns with him. Therefore, all seven close relatives who sit shiva for their seven relatives should join them in their mourning. Except for a wife when her husband sits shiva, she does not sit with him except for his father and mother. And similarly, a husband for his wife. This is also written in the Shulchan Aruch, Siman 374, Sif 6. In Knesset HaGedolah, it is written that the Sephardic custom is not to observe this mourning.
And the Rema brings in the name of the Terumat HaDeshen that it is customary for all relatives of the mourner who are disqualified from testimony to participate somewhat in his mourning. And the Shach, Sif Katan 6, writes that only those disqualified from testimony due to blood relation, and not due to marriage relation, meaning if a relative sits shiva for a relative due to marriage, he does not need to observe mourning.
In Shach, Sif Katan 7, in Aruch HaShulchan, it is written that everything depends on the custom of that place. Practically today, there are many customs, and in the name of the Gaon, Rabbi Tzvi Pesach Frank, and also in the name of the Chazon Ish, it is testified that the custom is not to mourn except with one's father or mother when they mourn for their father or mother, and also for a father-in-law and mother-in-law who have died. And so our teacher, the rabbi, ruled. This is not the custom of the Rema and the Terumat HaDeshen, but a new custom due to the honor of father and mother. And due to the honor of father-in-law and mother-in-law.