Laws of Partial Mourning for a Woman When Her Father Sits Shiva
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Question
Should a married woman observe some mourning laws when her father sits shiva for her grandfather?
Answer
The law "all who mourn for him mourn with him" applies even to married women.
Source
The Jerusalem Talmud, Moed Katan, Chapter 3: "If his father-in-law or mother-in-law or one of his wife's relatives dies, he does not force her to apply makeup or adorn herself, but behaves with her as she behaves. Similarly, if her father-in-law or mother-in-law or one of her husband's relatives dies, she does not apply makeup or adorn herself, but behaves with him as he behaves." This clearly shows that even a woman whose relatives' relatives have died observes some mourning laws. Brought in the commentary of the Vilna Gaon, s.k. 7.
In the Piskei Maharsham of Lublin (section 47), it is written that a married woman who is in a city where her relatives are sitting shiva can be lenient so as not to become unattractive to her husband, as we find leniencies for her during the thirty days. However, in our days, when the custom is to be lenient for all relatives who can wash in lukewarm water, this reason does not apply, and they should wash only in lukewarm water and observe all the laws of "all who mourn for him mourn with him".