Participation of a Mourner in a Party with Music
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Question
Can a mourner participate in a Hanukkah or Purim party, or any other event where music is played?
Answer
Regarding music, if one does not intend to listen and enjoy, even though they hear it, there is no prohibition. This is achieved by not joining in the singing if they sing along with the music, and by not clapping to the rhythm of the singing, etc. Regarding a Hanukkah party, if words of Torah or songs and praises are said, it is considered a mitzvah meal, and one may be there without eating. On Purim, it is permissible to listen to music from the outset, and also to eat there, even according to the Ashkenazi custom of not eating outside the home for all 12 months, as stated in the Megillah 'family and family', meaning the meal will be in a gathering with the community.
Source
Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De'ah, Siman 381, Orach Chaim 670, Orach Chaim 696, Responsa Zaken Aharon