Participation in Kiddush and Bar Mitzvah during the Year of Mourning
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Question
Hello and blessings! I am in the year of mourning for my father, of blessed memory. A: Is it permissible for me to go on Shabbat to wish congratulations at the Kiddush that my friend is making in honor of "Shabbat Chatan" for his son? And is it permissible for me to taste the refreshments without washing hands? (I mean, is there a rule regarding the establishment of a meal that says a mourner within the year should not attend celebratory meals?). B: My brother is making a Bar Mitzvah for his son. Is it permissible for me to participate in the Bar Mitzvah meal? If so, in what manner (with or without washing hands? At a separate table? At a table outside the hall? Does it depend on whether there is music?). I emphasize that it is very important for my brother that we participate in the "Bar Mitzvah." But he will accept if we cannot.
Answer
Hello and blessings
It is permitted only if it is public mourning, such as if he is a close relative and everyone knows he is not coming because of the mourning, or if he prays there and everyone knows he is leaving because of the mourning. If it is not on Shabbat, it is permitted to be there without eating.