Renewing the Hat and Suit for a Bar Mitzvah Boy During the Thirty Days of Mourning

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Question

A boy celebrating his Bar Mitzvah during the thirty days of mourning for his mother, can he wear the new hat and suit?

Answer

Let another person wear them for three days. (If the other person wears the suit during prayers, but if he wears the suit all the time, a few hours are sufficient). If this is not possible, he should wear them himself three days before the Bar Mitzvah.

Source

The Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 389, Paragraph 2 states: "It is permitted to wash the clothes of young children whose father has died."

The later authorities are divided on whether there is an obligation of education in mourning for a minor. The opinion of the Ri"tz Giat, the Taz, and the Bach is that there is an obligation of education in mourning for a minor. They hold that the rule explained in the Shulchan Aruch, Siman 340, Paragraph 27, that a minor is made to tear his garment, is a rule of education. This is because there is mourning for a minor as part of education. The glosses of Beit Hillel, the son of the author, wrote to explain the words of the Shulchan Aruch that it is permitted to wash the clothes of a minor, if they are very young and these are the clothes that wrap them so they do not get dirty with excrement, but clothes of minors that do not get dirty with excrement, he holds it is forbidden to wash as part of education.

However, in the Shach, Siman 384, Paragraph 5, it is written that there is no rule of mourning for a minor, and so too in Beit Hillel, Siman 389, that they wash for a minor because there is no mourning for a minor, and therefore any minor is permitted to wash even right before Bar Mitzvah.

The Shulchan Aruch, Siman 396, Paragraph 3 states: "A minor whose father and mother have died, and even if he matured within seven days, all rules of mourning are nullified for him, and he is not obligated in them."

The Shach there, Paragraph 3: "The Bach ruled according to the opinion of the Maharam that if he matured within thirty days, he counts seven and thirty days from the time he matured, but if he matured after thirty days, the decree of seven and thirty days is nullified for him."

Pithei Teshuva there, Paragraph 4: "In the book Chochmat Adam, Chapter 168, Rule 6, it implies that also the mourning of twelve months is exempt, and it is possible that there is a distinction that seven and thirty days are commandments established by the sages in mourning, and since he was exempt at the time of his obligation, he has no compensation, unlike the mourning of twelve months, which is only due to respect for parents, it can be said that in this he is still obligated."

Therefore, initially, it is preferable that he gives them to another to wear for three days, since the opinion of the Bach is that he has real mourning after Bar Mitzvah, and even according to Chochmat Adam, he is obligated in the mourning of twelve months, and it is forbidden to wear new clothes all twelve months according to the custom written in the Rema, Siman 389, Paragraph 3. And since he needs to wear the hat and suit, he should give them to another to wear for three days as written in Aruch HaShulchan, Siman 389, Paragraph 11, and Chochmat Adam, Chapter 165, Paragraph 22.

If it is not possible to give them to another to wear, he can wear them himself three days before the Bar Mitzvah and rely on the opinion of the Shach that there is no education in mourning for a minor, and wear them three days before the Bar Mitzvah.

(Three days are required

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