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Question
If someone's father passed away during Chol HaMoed, what mourning practices are observed during Chol HaMoed?
Answer
During the festival days, mourning is observed privately but not publicly. Therefore, one may wear leather shoes, wear Shabbat clothes, sit on a high chair, and attend the synagogue. However, marital relations, bathing, anointing, and Torah study are prohibited. If it is difficult to study the subjects permitted during mourning, one may be lenient and study Torah as usual. It is also necessary to light a candle in memory of the deceased, but not in the place where one eats or in the room where the deceased passed away. Greeting others is forbidden, and others do not greet him. During the festival days, people come to comfort him.
Source
The Gemara in Moed Katan 19 states that the mitzvot of the seven days of mourning are not observed during the festival. In Ketubot, page 4a, regarding a groom or bride whose mother of the bride or father of the groom died after preparing for the wedding, it is stated that the deceased is placed in a room, and the groom and bride are brought to the chuppah, and the groom performs the mitzvah of marital relations and then separates. All those days, he sleeps among the men, and she sleeps among the women. "Mar said: he sleeps among the men, and she sleeps among the women. This supports Rabbi Yochanan's opinion, who said: although it is said that there is no mourning during the festival, private matters are observed." This means that the seven days for the groom are considered like the festival days, and marital relations are forbidden because they are private matters.
The Rishonim are divided regarding the text of the Gemara. Tosafot and Ramban hold that during the festival, private matters must be observed. However, Rambam (according to Beit Yosef's explanation) holds that the Gemara refers to Shabbat. That is, only on Shabbat must private matters be observed, but during the festival, it is not required (as we find that Shabbat is stricter than the festival because festivals interrupt mourning if it began before the festival).
Practically, the Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 399, paragraph 2, writes: "One who buries his deceased during the festival, in Chol HaMoed, observes the laws of mourning until the burial; after the burial, private matters are observed." The Rema adds: "Nevertheless, it is permitted to be with his wife." And so writes the Shulchan Aruch in Siman 598, paragraph 1. The Mishnah Berurah explains in s"k 2 that the reason mourning is not observed publicly during the festival is that the joy of the festival is a communal mitzvah and overrides mourning, which is a personal mitzvah.
The Mishnah Berurah in s"k 15 writes: "And he does not change his clothes, although other mourners change during the festival, nevertheless, one who has not yet begun mourning should not do so during the festival, also does not change his place, since he did not change before the festival."
In s"k 16, it discusses the prohibited matters: "This is bathing in hot water, marital relations, and Torah study, all of which are observed in mourning and are forbidden, but some permit Torah study. Nevertheless, regarding being called to the Torah during the festival to be included in the number of those called, it seems that initially, it is not advisable." Regarding Torah study, the Magen Avraham prohibits, and in the responsa Chacham Tzvi, Siman 100, permits, and therefore, if one will be idle from his study because he does not like studying the permitted subjects during mourning, he can rely on those who permit and study what he desires.
Regarding lighting the candle, the Mishnah Berurah in s"k 3 writes: "Nevertheless, the candle that is usually lit all seven days is lit immediately, and this does not depend on whether the festival cancels mourning or it does not begin until after the festival, only it should not be lit in the place where they eat, and certainly not in the room where the deceased died, lest it lead to eulogizing him, but it should be lit in a place where they do not eat."
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