Tashmish when the wife is unaware she is in mourning
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Question
A woman who is unaware of her mourning, and her husband knows but does not tell her due to her health, are they permitted in tashmish?
Answer
Since the woman is unaware, even though the husband knows, he is not prohibited from tashmish because she is not in mourning.
Source
Sefer Chasidim, Siman 993: "One heard that a relative of his wife died, and if she knew, she would mourn and would not want to have relations with him. They told him he did not need to, because mourning does not apply before the news."
Similarly, it is written in Aruch HaShulchan, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 383, Se'if 1: "And know that it is not forbidden for a husband to have relations with his wife in mourning unless she knows of her mourning. But if her father or mother, brother or sister died elsewhere and she is unaware of it, even though the husband knows, he is permitted to have relations with her."
Similarly, it is written in Aruch HaShulchan, Yoreh De'ah, Siman 383, Se'if 1: "And know that it is not forbidden for a husband to have relations with his wife in mourning unless she knows of her mourning. But if her father or mother, brother or sister died elsewhere and she is unaware of it, even though the husband knows, he is permitted to have relations with her."
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