Visiting the Grave on a Yahrzeit
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Question
On the yahrzeit of the parents, there is an annual discussion about whether the children should go to the grave to complete a minyan, and the children suggest paying avrechim or students. What is the appropriate action, especially when on the father's yahrzeit the grandmother is still alive and wishes for the grandchildren to come?
Answer
It is not necessary to have a minyan at the grave on a yahrzeit, but if it distresses the parents that they do not come, they should go. However, if the parents ask what to do, it is preferable that they study. It is also possible to go at night if it will cause less bitul Torah.