Determining the Yahrzeit Date When the Exact Date of Death is Unknown
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Question
If someone does not know the date of their father's death, when should they observe the Yahrzeit customs?
Answer
He should select one day on which he wishes to fast and recite Kaddish for the soul of his father. Some have written that he should choose the day of his father's birth or the day the news of his death reached him.
Source
Mishna Berura, Siman 568, S"K 42: "It is written in the name of the Rashal that one who does not know the day his father or mother died should select one day, but should not infringe on others' rights to say Kaddish." Similarly, in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, Siman 221, Seif 8: "One who does not know the day of his father's or mother's death should select one day in the year to fast, but should not infringe on others' rights in saying Kaddish."
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