Financial support of a friend against husband’s will

Hi, I have a friend who is a single Mom. The Torah is clear to not ignore the poor. So I have, against my husband's suggestion, given her money. She struggles with her mental health and is in constant crisis. AND she moved overseas a while back and is stuck there. Now she just asks me for money. Often. My husband says to ignore her and that I set myself up for this because she is poor. It had been over a decade of her asking for money however it became a monthly contribution for a while. I talked to her about it, said it couldn't keep going. She continues to ask. What is my obligation under the law? The Torah says to give through leaving produce in your fields. Can you advise me about what God would ask of us when there are poor friends who ask for handouts?? She never asks for a loan. (She is connected to all of the resources. She is poor. Tries to work and only lasts so long in jobs as she is not high functioning)

I am assuming that your friend is not the one to blame for this situation. In such a situation, there is an imperative to provide financial assistance. The commandment to offer sustenance to those in need becomes especially relevant in such cases.

However, it's important to acknowledge that, according to traditional teachings, a wife is prohibited from giving  tzedakah  (charitable donations) against her husband's will. This implies that using family funds to support your friend is not permissible as long as your husband objects to it.

Negotiation with your husband to reach an agreement on providing financial aid to your friend is a viable option. Until such an understanding is reached, however, it remains prohibited to use family funds for this purpose.

  Shulchan Arukh ,  Yoreh Deah  248:4

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