Is it permissible to induce marital intimacy?
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Question
Hello, Apologies for the question. There is a gap between the wife's desire to engage in marital relations and the husband's. She wants more. She has spoken to him many times about it, but in practice, he doesn't really implement it. She has started, out of necessity, initiating contact to make him want. But in her heart, she feels very humiliated, and she is very, very frustrated, and told him in a conversation that this topic embarrasses her greatly. What is she supposed to do? He will not go to a rabbi about it. If she does it herself... she doesn't believe it's the right way of life at all. What is the right thing to do? It's impossible to live life this way. Again, apologies for the question.
Answer
Hello
There are two questions here: halachic and marital.
In the halachic aspect, it is permissible for a woman to induce her husband to desire her, and the verse praises the daughters of Israel for arousing their husbands in Egypt, when due to hardship and labor they had no desire. 'Under the apple tree I aroused you'.
In the marital aspect, marital therapy is highly recommended to align expectations. It is unhealthy for there to be constant rejection and frustration, which can accumulate and lead to general difficulties.