Disputes Regarding Contact with Men

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Question

Hello, My wife and I are constantly arguing about modesty and maintaining the prohibition of contact with other men. In her work, it is customary to hug each other. After I saw such a situation, I unequivocally asked her to stop this and, of course, to demand only handshakes from them. My wife opposes my request, and this leads to many arguments, even to the point of separation for several days. What should I do?

Answer

Hello, 

It is important to know that according to Halacha, any affectionate touch between a woman and a strange man is forbidden.

Thus, even a handshake is forbidden. 

Of course, a hug is more serious, as it naturally expresses more affection and leads to more forbidden contact.

On one hand, your request for her to stop is very understandable. And it is very understandable that it bothers you. 

On the other hand, I understand that neither of you observes the prohibition of touch. So her habit is different. 

This does not permit the halachic prohibition, but only gives proportion to her resistance to the matter. 

In my opinion, do not approach her with the religious prohibition, which is indeed less the issue for you, but rather in the name of your marital relationship.

Tell her that it personally affects you, and you feel it is at your expense. And your relationship is important to you.


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