Question about Continuing a Relationship between Religious Young People
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Question
A religious young man and woman, both 18 years old, observant of Torah and mitzvot. He studies in a yeshiva half-day and works, she studies in a religious framework, from good families. They have a true love connection and cannot break it unless it interferes with their parents or something like that. The relationship did not come by choice; it was incidental and just happened. Marriage is not considered at this stage, more around the age of 20. Meanwhile, they have met and observed the laws of touch, but it won't last long. Telling them to break up and come back in two years for marriage doesn't work; these feelings cannot be suppressed. The question is whether it is okay to continue despite possible falls. They need each other, support each other, go through a lot together, and both are very strong religiously, with strong faith, not superficial or anything like that, but they cannot maintain distance forever. Can they continue the relationship? It won't lead to deterioration, as there is no guardian for prohibitions, but the situation cannot be changed. What should they do?
Answer
Shalom
As you mentioned in the question, the sages say: 'There is no guardian for prohibitions'. That is, it is not feasible to decide that they will be in a relationship and maintain distance, and inevitably they will fail.
Therefore: if they are sure there is compatibility between them, they should marry immediately. And all the relationship will be permitted and even a mitzvah.
If they cannot marry, they should completely separate, and in a few years, when they feel ready for marriage, they should meet again to check compatibility for marriage.
P.S. When I write 'sure there is compatibility', it is not advisable for the couple to decide this alone, and it is absolutely necessary to consult a wise person about this. Because the couple is currently biased, and bias blinds the eyes of the wise... and they do not see problems, even if there are real shortcomings and obvious incompatibility between them.
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