Difficult Divorce Process
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Question
Dear Rabbi, Hello. I am writing to you on behalf of my daughter. My daughter is currently undergoing a difficult divorce process while being in an advanced stage of pregnancy (she has entered the ninth month). Throughout the pregnancy, the husband showed no interest in her or her well-being, did not accompany her to any medical examinations, despite the pregnancy being classified as high-risk in the early months, and even though she required hospitalization about a month ago. We are expecting a brit milah, with God's help, and this is accompanied by complex questions, so I turn to the esteemed Rabbi. 1. Even before the decision to divorce, there was no agreement on the name. How should one proceed in this matter at the brit ceremony when there is no agreement? 2. The husband demands to hold the brit in the presence of both sides, but my daughter does not wish to hold the brit in the presence of extended families. We thought of holding the brit itself in a small quorum and then each side would hold a separate celebration if they wish. Regarding the proceedings in the rabbinical court: Since the husband hurried to open a case in the rabbinical court, the process is taking place there. In the first hearing, the judges gave the husband and his lawyer complete freedom of expression. When it was my daughter's turn to speak, they immediately silenced her, did not allow her to speak, and when her lawyer intervened, they threatened her with a fine for contempt of court. This is not the way of the Torah of Israel to act unjustly, to humiliate the woman, and to make decisions that harm her and her children, but this is the situation in the rabbinical court. This can distance the public from engaging with it, oppose it, and even distance from religion. How should she act in the rabbinical court in this matter when it is entirely identified with the man?! I would appreciate the esteemed Rabbi's response.
Answer
Hello
A. If the child will be solely under the mother's custody, the mother decides on the name. If custody is shared, an agreement must be reached.
B. It is possible to hold two separate celebrations for the brit.
C. Of course, it is absolutely forbidden to allow only one side to speak and to silence the other.
I sincerely hope that in the next hearing, the woman's side was heard properly.
Good news.