Acceptance of the Husband's Wishes

Shalom Rav, to what extent should a wife accept her husband's opinion? For example: which institutions to send the children to study? Clothing? And can the husband demand that his wife stop observing stringencies that he does not agree with (stringencies, not laws!)

Shalom Rav

It is impossible to answer such a question without knowing the people and all the details of the question.

For example, 'which institutions to send the children to study?', what is the difference between the institutions, is the difference in the level of fear of Heaven, or are we talking about minor differences. 'Clothing' - is the discussion about style or the boundaries of the law. And so on. 

Therefore, I will answer only in a very general way:

A Jewish home is a partnership of father and mother, the children are the responsibility of both, the character of the home and the conduct are the responsibility of both. And both are responsible for ensuring that everything is according to the will of the third partner, who is the Holy One, blessed be He. Neither of them has the right to act otherwise. 

For matters where there is doubt about what the will of Hashem is, they should consult a rabbi agreed upon by both, who possesses Torah knowledge and common sense. 

According to Halacha, a wife should follow her husband's customs in matters dependent on custom, and which disturb the husband if she acts otherwise. For example, if he prays in a certain rite and wants his wife to pray in the same rite.

Additionally, a virtuous wife fulfills her husband's wishes in matters that are important to him and do not contradict the principles of the home, such as taste in food or taste in clothing, the placement of furniture, etc. But even this is within the bounds of possibility and common sense.

[A wife or husband who is forced to give up things important to their body or soul will not endure it for long, and the price they will pay for it in the long term will be heavy].

I hope I have been helpful.