Keeping your word snd fufilling promise to hashem and make him more proud

Hi Rabbi , hope youre well, was curious , what does the torah say and teach us in keeping a promise to hashem to be sincere , but rather not to say sorry multiple times and to repeat the mistake many times and to stay conflicted afterwords as i have done this many times being and feeling conflicted as thinking am i truly an aweful person or hashem indeed created me for a greater purpose that i could ever begin to comprehend and or at best regard too blinded to see as god knows and seed all better thrn any jew or human. As i pray , i feel every morning that i am sincere , but just when god does all well for me , i feel like im fall short on my part as i think it is a 50 50 relationship between human and god . Im having trouble in fufilling my end of the bargain rabbi? How to fufill my 50, i know life is about conquering challenges and like a pencil that sharpens it needs to endure pain to become a useful pencil as it goes through a process of painful change, i want to be more courageous to endure pain more as i ask hashem to give me strength to endure a more difficult life, but any advice that you can give me to address this matter?

Shalom!

Thank you for writing.

G-d expects us to do our best in serving Him, and when we make a mistake, we repent, we say sorry, and try hard no to repeat the mistake.

You are doing the right thing by praying to G-d for help in being a good person. May G-d hear your prayers and may you continue to become the better Jew you desire to be.