Advice With Prayer/Minyan

I am very perplexed about my Jewish observance. In my early 30’s I began wrapping Tefillin every morning on my own volition. 10 years later, My parents house, where I lived had a next door and lived a rabbi who looks after the big kosher super market by their house. This was during COVID and he and I and a few of his friends made a kiddish club and would eat and pray together on Shabbos. We even davened in a socially distant back yard minyan with all the neighbouring rabbis and a safer Torah on loan to us from one of the shuls. I was never comfortable really because I forgot how to read Hebrew and sing the trope. I joined a reform Shul simultaneously which allowed me to daven online so I could learn the hebrew. I am not supposed to pray online, according to my rabbi friend, yet I pray online because I don’t know how to read Hebrew and I’m too embarrassed to go to an orthodox Shul. The kiddish club later became just the two of us and we would study all sorts of Jewish texts every shabbos for months. I then moved to Aurora, Ontario a year ago having bought my dream apartment. Although there is no orthodox Shul in Aurora, Ontario, but according to the Rabbi that just means I should be davening alone and omitting the prayers that may only be said in a minyan. I understand that praying online is actually an Aveyrah, a sin. I am supposed to be exhaulting GD in the way he wanted it to be and instead I am doing it in the way that I want. Yet all the people at my reform Shul are very learned, it’s just that women are at the bimmah, women wear talit, lead daily services, and they do an online minyan everyday and they will say Kaddish whether or not there are 10 men and women. I am confused. On one hand I have learnt so much from davening online. Even if I join the Chabad of Aurora it is only shabbos and high holiday services and I want a daily minyan. Plus this Chabad is far away and I would have to drive there. I like the reform Shul, but although I am more well versed in the service and feel less uncomfortable my Hebrew reading has not got any better. What do you think I should be doing?

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

We commend you on your efforts to pray and be a part of a community. We encourage you to continue in the orthodox style. The Reform and Conservative way is meaningless and goes against Jewish law. Keep away from such temples.

Be sure to attend the orthodox shul in your area for Shabbat and holidays. During the week you should pray from an orthodox siddur three times a day. Of course you omit the parts of the prayers that require minyan. We encourage you to get yourself an “Artscroll Siddur” which has great instructions and commentaries for someone like yourself learning how to pray.

There are many minyans in Toronto that you may be able to attend on a somewhat daily basis a short drive away from your home. Look into that.

Continue to study Torah from books you can buy locally or on-line, attend classes in your area, and go on-line to websites such as Aish.com and the like where you can learn a lot of Torah.

Wishing you success!

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