Dating Non-Jew

Hi .Im standing in front this really hard test.im a 50 years old Jewish woman single that organize events for Jewish singles events and against getting married to a non Jewish but something very weird happen to me and I don’t know how to fight it .I admire this Turkish Muslim Christian rich model who is 35 years old guy and one day he approached me online and at the beginning I thought that it’s fake but then realized that it’s not that’s the real actor .He fell in love with me and I I’m in love with him .Intriefcyo push it away but it’s extremely hard .He is so handsome and he is deeply in love with me .He is not Jewish and live in Italy and much younger .It is all crazy like from a horror movie .I was never in love with anyone but with him it feels like soul connection .I don’t know what to do .Im my family it’s like you are a big sinner if you marry a non Jew and I was raised as this is the worst sin .Even if they drag me on the floor I can’t marry to a non Jew but this is extremely painful and plus seeing myself being so older and such a handsome and loving man plus he is a celebrity that all the woman around the world will die just to be with him offering me marriage and kids .This is a very strange test that go-d is putting me into .I thought that the test was getting to age 50 and not loosing hope and knowing that my Jewish husband is on the way and my biological kids are on the way with my husband but then I get this thing coming in my way .Im trying to fight it but its so hard to say no to him over and over .He is not giving up and sending over and over different people to try to convince me to go with him and it’s hard .He has strong obsession towards me and I saw many time on his post talking about his big love for me .What kind of test is that ???What go-d is trying to tell me ??

Shalom!

Thank you for your question.

A Jew is forbidden to marry a non-Jew. This has nothing to do with cultural preference or prejudice but it is explicitly forbidden by the Torah. It is one the commandments that God gave us at Mount Sinai. A Jew who marries a non-Jew transgresses a severe Torah prohibition, not to mention that intermarriage often also means the cessation of one’s Jewish lineage as the children of a non-Jewish woman are not Jewish regardless if the father is.

I would like to quote the sources of this halacha so you can appreciate its severity. 

Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 82a:

Rabbi Chiyya bar Avuya said: Anyone who has relations with a gentile woman, it is as if he has married into idolatry, as it is written: “And he had relations with the daughter of a foreign god.” Does a foreign god have a daughter? Rather, this refers to one who has relations with a gentile woman.

Rambam, Hilchot Issurei Bi’ah, Chapter 12:

A Jewish man who has relations in the manner of marital intimacy with a gentile woman from the other nations, or a Jewish woman who has relations in the manner of marital intimacy with a gentile man — they are liable to receive lashes by Torah law, as it is stated: “You shall not intermarry with them — your daughter you shall not give to his son, and his daughter you shall not take for your son.” This applies both to the seven Canaanite nations and to all nations under this prohibition. This is also explicitly stated by Ezra: “And we did not give our daughters to the peoples of the land, nor take their daughters for our sons.”

Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer, Hilchot Ishut, Siman 16:

A Jewish man who had relations in the manner of marital intimacy with a non-Jewish woman, or a Jewish woman who had relations in the manner of marital intimacy with a non-Jewish man — they are liable to receive lashes by Torah law, as it is stated: “You shall not intermarry with them” (Devarim 7:3).

In fact, the practice of not intermarrying is so ingrained in the Jewish people that it even predates the Torah! When Abraham, the first Jew, instructed his trusted servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Isaac, he told Eliezer that under no circumstances may he seek a Canaanite wife for Isaac. He was to find a wife from among Abraham’s monotheistic family. This continued into the next generation when Isaac told his son, Jacob, not to marry “the daughters of the land.”

So not only is intermarriage forbidden, but it has no status or standing in Judaism whatsoever. An intermarried couple is not recognized as being married from the perspective of Judaism, and as such, an intermarried Jew doesn’t truly need a divorce from his or her spouse. Indeed, one should end an intermarriage as soon as possible. That being said, there might be government and legal requirements to formally divorce and one must look into this.

I strongly recommend that you save yourself the heartache and break off the relationship now.

Reach out to your local orthodox rabbi about dating options in your community.

We wish you all the best of luck with the situation!

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