Advice: Non Jewish Children / Jewish Father

I was engaged (he broke engagement) we are living together still. I am catholic, And when I was engaged pregnant, I was going through a conversion class. I finished just the class and then Covid hit. My daughter is six years old and his parents are pushing for her to go to Hebrew school practice and practice and learn the religion. Her father is Jewish and wants her to be Jewish, but doesn’t participate in the faith. If I don’t commit to fully converting. Is my daughter viewed as Jewish and can the father and grandmother force her?

Shalom!

Thank you for your question and thank you for being so straightforward and honest.

You are not Jewish nor are your children.

There is also no reason for you to convert. Indeed, a conversion for the sake of marriage is almost always invalid. So too, it is not possible to convert children who are either living with a non-Jewish mother or a non-observant Jewish father.

As an orthodox rabbi, I cannot, of course, condone any form of intermarriage, and as you now know, the children born from a non-Jewish mother won't be considered Jewish according to Jewish law. Furthermore, almost all intermarriages end in divorce, especially after children come into the picture. Save yourself the heartache: the dual identity is impractical, and will, in fact, be a disaster.

Therefore, I recommend you put your current relationship on hold and hopefully your children can have a nice relationship with their Jewish father and grandparents.

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