Acquire a Friend: The Jewish Perspective on the Power of Friendship
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Question
How to find friends? Are there any prayers or segulot? What should be changed within oneself?
Answer
Shalom!
Thank you for your question.
While we are not aware of specific segulot (spiritual practices) specifically for acquiring friends, prayer always helps.
Friends play an important role in Judaism and Jewish life.
Take, for example, the following teaching:
The Mishnah in "Pirkei Avot" (1:6) says: "Yehoshua ben Perachya said... acquire for yourself a friend."
Commenting on this Mishnah, Rambam writes:
"He specifically said 'acquire for yourself a friend,' and not 'make a friend' or 'befriend others.' This means that a person must make an effort to
acquire
a friend who will help him in spiritual self-improvement. And if a person does not find such a friend, he must make very great efforts to do so."
The Talmud also states in several places:
"Rava said: from here we see the folk saying: 'Either friendship or death' — for a person without friends would be better off not living."
There are dozens of other teachings about the importance of friendship in Judaism.
Here are some tips on how to find good Jewish friends:
• Start regularly attending your local Orthodox synagogue and ask the rabbi to help you find Jewish friends — I'm sure he will be happy to help!
• Invite guests or participate in Shabbat meals.
• Visit Jewish shops and businesses.
• Ask your acquaintances (Jewish and non-Jewish) to introduce you to their Jewish friends.
• Join a Jewish group trip, retreat, or seminar.
• Attend Torah classes.
• Volunteer in Jewish charitable organizations.
I hope I was able to help you a little on this path.
And most importantly: work on yourself to become a person others truly want to be around!